Secret Plans of the Obama Administration
- Say It Isn’t So rip The Plot to Kill Hitler psp
- Eagle on presidential seal replaced by Tofurky™ brand meat substitute.
- New rule: anyone who beats the President in Jenga takes responsibility for Iraq.
- Use his newfound influence to get the gig he really wants: panelist on The Best Damn Sports Show Period.
- Quietly remove Dick Cheney’s tarrasque
from the basement of the VP Mansion.
- Now that things have slowed down, finally get around to returning that broken tv to Circuit Cit… oh.
- Relax import restrictions to allow Cuba to send us some of their smokin’ hot Latina babes.
- Spend $14 million on a graphic designer who will update the flag by making the stars a slightly more modern shade of white.
- Lob a couple of missiles into Romania, just to let the vampires know we’re paying attention.
- Free health insurance for any American who promises to never, ever get sick.
- All scissors to be replaced with the less dangerous rounded-tip kind.
- Look into buying that America-shaped island in Dubai, just in case.